


Seven times three is twenty one

by Sucmycluc



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: AU TRIPLETS, Actual plot, College Student, Daddy Issues, F/M, Growing Up, Home sick girl, Love, Mental Illness, Multi, Neighborhood friends, Sibling Rivalry, Smut, Star Wars AU, The Solos - Freeform, Trust Issues, bday party, childhood home, credit to original creators, facing reality, filthyness, happiness, old times, physical abuse mentioned, possible drop out, tantrums, thirst order confessions, this is not my original idea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-19 00:42:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8182370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sucmycluc/pseuds/Sucmycluc
Summary: Everyone has a past,present,and future. When the past comes creeping up will you be able to keep your eyes looking forward? Only time will tell. And a lot of procrascinating.





	1. 21

**Author's Note:**

> Ayyyyyeee my dudes,
> 
> Welcome to my first series!! Star Wars has been a part of my life for as long as i can remember and that obsession only hightened when our emo ol' trash can took off his mask,ik im not the only one here or you wouldn't be reading this ya cutie.  
> Anyways,i wrote this IN my RED room in my favorite rocking chair as i was bundled up in a Crylo Ren blanket,i've been writing since i was a lil' shit in first grade and its always been a hobby of mine,i'm a long time lurker of fan fics and series and have grown to have quite a collection over the span of a year and decided to put my fingers to use so here we are,i'm new to this but i would love,love,love! To keep it rolling so enjoy kids as you join me in this fun ride called my mind btw:i didnt spell check this bc i was in a hurry to get it up oops  
> Current song i'm listening to while typing this: Wolf Alice-Silk,Tyler The Creator: Trashwang

Twenty one. We're you really turning twenty one Monday? If it was up to you you would be back in the middle of the garage in between the bikes and your dad's prized tools deciding if Barbie were to wear her sparkly pink strapless dress or her tutu. It didn't feel real in the slightest,where had the time gone? You could have sworn you were just learning how to write raccoon in glitter pen yesterday. Looking around your old room just reminded you more and more of the days you would watch Scooby Doo go on some nice vacation with the gang to get away from the monsters when in reality they practically went right to em'. Like moths to a flame.  
The room was almost blood red from your rebellion days,you could have sworn on your life it wasn't a phase. That Justin Bieber poster on your very worn white door,the mandala tapestry,and last but certainly the best by far...the white board,taking up half of the wall to the east of you,where old messages were displayed and horribly taken best friend pictures hung. "I gotta take those down." Reminding yourself for the hundredth time,one more look towards the curtain covered window and you were getting out of the bed,half awake but moving.  
"Theirs my birthday girl!" Giving your mom a weary smile and a lil' wave as you trailed into the kitchen straight to the pantry "How'd you sleep? I know its been a while since you've been home." She questioned as she sipped her jar of milk,taking a second to think about it you answered simply "Alright surprisingly." grabbing the bread you headed to the counter "Amazingly so i didn't wake up once during the night." Looking into the living room you noticed just how gray her hair was but that ever sly welcoming smile still stood its ground "I'm glad to hear that sweetie." You couldn't help but stare at her,she gave out the feeling of warmth and security like a perfume,it never got old. "I'm glad to be home mama." Putting the bread down on a plate "Honestly." You could tell as she smiled and wiped away a tear that she definitely was gonna store that memory for later "Ah shucks aha." You loved that loud chuckle "You know you are always welcome home y/n." Spreading the jam on the bread you nodded,you always knew that no matter what "I know,I know ma." Wiping your own fallen tear to the side.  
.  
.  
.  
It had been exactly an hour since your neighbor had came over with birthday greetings and cookies and she was still chatting with your mom outside the door,as much as you loved Scarlett she needed to let your mom go from her treacherous gossip and let her back inside before you died of boredom. Standing up from your comfy spot in the couch with a huff you were already on the route to the back yard calling the old but still standing black lab,Sweetpea. "C'mon girl!" An excited bark was her answer "Let's go!" Prying the screen door open you watched as she jumped out barking for you to follow "Alright! Alright! I heard you old fart." Closing the screen behind you was the only signal she needed to start running out into the grassy field you called a back yard "Not too far Sweetpea!!!" You yelled from the porch. It would take you hours to think of all the memories you had on this cement block you called a porch,especially the built in wooden play ground in the middle of the yard. Sweetpea was running in circles now "I'm coming to get you!" You called her way making her start to zig zag as you giggled your way over,this too would never get old.  
"SWEETPEA DON'T YOU DARE!!!" You screamed after her as she swerved making you almost run into a particularly thorny bush "GET THAT BUTT BACK HERE MISSY!" With that she put her guard down,giving you the opportunity to pounce,trapping her in your evil clutches as you rubbed her belly "You think your slick huh?" You chuckled "I THINK NOT! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!" Diving right for her ears giving you the win for today. After finally calming her down you got up and patted off the grass that had collected on your butt and knees off your jeans. "You are one good workout." Taking a second to breath,you wiped the remaining sweat off your forehead as you decided to look at your surroundings,not much had changed really. The still fenced house to your left keeping the dog of the neighborhood gossiper at bay with the similar open yarded house to your right. "I wonder if they still live there Sweetpea." You questioned to her as you tapped your chin "Okay lets head in now." Walking forward with her at your side you kept in mind to ask your mom asap until "Is that Sweetpea?!" You heard a dark voice call to the right of you "Sta-" too late,she was already charging toward the voice before you could tell her not to "C'mere girl! Thats it! Come to uncle Ben!" Look's like you wouldn't have a question to ask your mom later.


	2. The Solo's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader has come home from college for her 21st Birthday,she's been having trouble living life on her own not only money wise but she misses home,she misses not having any responsibilities. She might wanna drop out of college. She hasn't been able to face the fact that this is her life and she's only going to get older. Throw chilchood friends that she hasnt seen in more then a decade and you have a hurricane on the way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my lovlies,
> 
> Ik it wasnt very clear on where the story was going. I wanted to leave a lot of oppurtunity open see what i could make of it. My birthday party was today and my birthday is tomorrow so i wont be able to write a lot in the upcoming days so here we are,i tried my best to spell check and do whatever i could to show what my motive was here. Its as if your seven again thats all imma say.

You knew that voice, you had it engraved into your memory like a lullaby. Though this version was much more husky and deep you knew it to be the same voice that would tickle you until you were gasping for air, the triplet who would steal your rare Pokemon cards and pull your hair. You didn't know if you wanted to run up to him and knee him in the dick as a payback for all the years of torment or ask him how he was. That is until you fully turned to look at him and saw that he was a skyscraper compared to you, he always had been. I mean you were only seven when he was becoming a teenager but holy shit, how were you to proceed? It had been at least fourteen years and he was twenty eight now oh god y/n you are staring at Ben act natural what are you doing act nat- "Get your ass over here birthday girl!" Quickly you fast walked across the threshold of the two yards to join him on his side. "Hello Be-mphh." he enveloped you in his arms before you could finish your greeting in a type of bear hug but you knew his tactics too well and before you knew it he was squeezing you too tightly for your liking "BEN!!!" You croaked as you squirmed uncomfortably under his hold "What i cant hug you y/n? Do you know how long its been?!" Oh no, not today boy that puppy face isn't getting you anywhere, as he stood there grinning you took your aim. Shooting your arm out you pushed and squeezed the muscles under his skin between his neck and shoulder blade just above the collar bones making him flinch and release his hold completely to crinkle his neck, "Cheap shot there missy." Waving your hands in his face you looked up to him and responded with as much confidence you could "And who taught me it? Oh thats right you haha." Rolling his eyes and putting his hands on his hips "I guess you could call me Satan." Pausing to point your way "And you Satan's lil' helper." Emphasis on the little "Not my fault i'm not as tall as one of the twin towers?" You could roll your eyes too Solo "HEY! In my def-" Ben was cut off before he could throw another snarky comment your way by the sound of another voice making its presence known "What is going on out here? Its sounds like a presidential deb-" Kylo. "Y/n..." Waving his way, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. You shouldn't right? These boys had seen it all, you running around on the beach with nothing but a diaper on, you learning how to ride a bike, what was the problem? Oh thats right. You weren't that seven year old girl anymore. That was fourteen years ago. This was now, you were turning twenty one in a few days and he was twenty eight, nothing was the same. "Hi ky." You could feel him intently staring as if right through you. With Kylo...it had been different, he took care of you when you had a boo boo or a nightmare. You two were glued to each others sides, every activity you did was with him and he was compliant through it all. You had missed him the most when they left. "I um wa-" he stuttered shoving his hands in his pockets and looking to the ground. You didn't blame him for not coming by when he got older, they too were in your position at the time. Just trying to make sense of their lives out on their own. "Kylo its not your fault...you all were in the same position as me." Taking a step forward you put your hand on his shoulder "I don't blame you nor am i mad you never came to check on me, you all had your own young college experiences to make, i wasn't even in high school yet." He was still looking down, you weren't having any of that not on your watch "Ky." Reaching up you lifted his chin "You got to keep your head up?" Brushing a strand of that infamous mop he called hair behind one of his ears on tippy toes. Bringing his gaze to you as he leaned into your touch "And you can let your hair down." Barely a whisper "I know its hard." You smiled wide almost child like. He was always going to be your Kylo, Kylie, and Ky. "Alright you two get a room! Me and Sweetpea are going inside." She was by his side again in seconds flat, he better not feed her cheese, she's had enough of that for a lifetime "BEN ORGANA SOLO YOU BETTER NOT BE FEEDING THAT DOG CHEESE!" A nonchalantly wave back as his response "yeah, yeah i heard ya i got it just a little." You should have taken the chance to knee him earlier. "So y/n i heard your having a party tomorrow night?" Oh yeah the party where everyone was gonna get drunk and be there for your "First time" getting drunk, oh joy. "Oh yeah that thing...i'm not looking forward to having a practical frat party in my house tomorrow." Sighing you continued "I'd rather just be able to walk into a club legally you know? And order drinks for me and my friends." You hoped you didn't sound too ungrateful i mean your mom had planned all of this down to the last detail and your dad was paying for it. You should be ecstatic. "I get that but i think that what your mom is doing is just a much safer route" Holding back laughter "Since we're triplets our friends took it upon themselves to drag us bar hopping that night, i don't remember half the night and i had no idea where i was when i woke up." Yeah you could see that now, your mom making sure you were in a safe environment with supervision. She just wanted the best for you. God you loved that woman. Nodding you slowly sighed "I guess." You couldn't help that part of you still wanted to do exactly that "Still as stubborn as a mule i see." Slapping him on the chest as you passed by him "OW! Hey what was that for?" Chuckling as you walked up to open the screen door for Sweetpea you replied simply "Because your still a whiny baby Kylie." Wait for it..."I am not! I am a grown man y/n." Rolling your eyes into infinity now "I pay bills!" You couldn't help the laughter that erupted out of you,doubling over you clutched onto your knees for support. "Uh huh but when was the last time you made your own food?" That shut him up. Bonus kill for y/n. "Ill catch you goobers later." A small wave of goodbye "C'mon Sweetpea!"   
.  
.  
.  
.  
Running into Ben really had knocked the wind out of you but Kylo too? Whiplash. Thank god Matt hadn't jumped out of some bush somewhere to say hey,to say your head was spinning was an understatement. They really had grown up. Ben still looked like he needed Leia to dress him and comb down his hair but it was as if he purposely went for that look,he always had been a sly fox. Kylo was quite the opposite,he radiated prestige. Though he wasn't wearing a suit the simple black skinny jeans and gray pocket tee look still had you standing up straighter in front of him. His hair was as always fluffed and full of product besides a curl or two out of place. I wonder what Matt looked like now...of course like his brothers obviously but he had been the smallest of the two along with being the youngest,the shyest,and of course the sweetest. He never intentionally hurt anyones feelings unless unknowingly. It was settled. You were going to walk your ass over there and see the lil' or big now? puff ball. But what to wear? I mean you hadn't been invited but it was probably going to be around dinner time. Maybe some ripped high waisted skinny jeans and a simple baggy black crop top. Not too simple but not too extravagant. Touch up your make up and throw some converse on and your out the door. Ok so do you just walk up to the door and knock? Shit. Just go you got this. Walking up to the front door you eyed up the chipping green paint,you hadn't been up close and personal with the house in so long. The whole outside was color schemed from back when Leia made all the cosmetic decisions,white outlines followed around the door cutting off the rest of the green from taking over. You better knock before you were deemed a creeper. "That non-cracked patch looks knock-able." Here we go just knock and get it ov- "Talking to nothing is un-healthy there y/n." Shit. "Shut up Ben move aside so i can walk in and eat all your food." Putting his arms out on the door frame he took his spot in the door way "Looks like you'll have to get through me first." He was smirking that noob oh how much you'd like to just wipe it off his face with your hand. Slapping him wouldn't work your hands were still the same size from when you were fourteen,he could probably cover your whole face with his palm. Looks like you were gonna have to be sneaky about this. "Alright you asked for it Solo!" You said as you slammed into him. As you suspected he was a fucking rock wall,no dice. "Thats not gonna get you anywhere y/l/n." Just wait not yet. Planting your feet flat on the ground you pushed back as hard as you could "This is too easy!" He laughed as he wrapped his arms around you half in the door and half on the porch. Perfect. Twisting around you whispered "Oh Ben your forgetting something." Throwing your arm out before he could even register the meaning and grabbing his weak spot making him let go of his hold and clutch his neck. This is your opportunity. Racing past him you tickled his sides from behind "Why you dirty little weasel!" Uh oh. Squealing you ran towards the back of the house screaming "KYLO! KYLO! HES TRYING TO KILL ME!" Within seconds flat you were running into a black wall correction your night in shining armor. Before Ben could grab you you scrambled behind Kylo and clutched onto his arm while peering over to the side of him. "Hand the girl over and nobody gets hurt." Ben stated,Kylo barely budged,standing his ground between the kitchen and the living room. Wow Han still kept that dark leather couch this whole time? "I think not." He declared,this felt much more primal like compared to when two skinny fourteen year old boys would fight over a seven year old girl. You could tell Ben wasn't sure if he should take Kylo on. You had to admit from what you could feel from just his arm taking him on would be a bad idea at the moment. "Fine keep her i hope you two are happy together." Giggling behind Kylo you couldn't help but think how extra that man was. "Sorry Benny!" You yelled from behind Kyo "Yeah yeah..." You heard him say as he walked back to the den. "Looks like you are safe m'lady." He called behind to you as he checked around the corner "Phew! That was close! Thank you kind sir." Bowing your head and curtseying. "You staying for dinner?" He asked as he turned to face you completely "I mean if thats alright?" You barely whispered as you tapped your feet on the ground and looked at the floor "Since when have you ever asked to stay?" You knew he was right,you would leave until your mom dragged you out "Its a polite thing people do Ky." You stated,taking a step forward to bop the tip of your nose "Yes but YOU are not like most people y/n." Rolling your eyes AGAIN you turned towards the kitchen. Someone was cooking you could smell it and it actually smelled good. You knew damn well that Han couldn't cook even if he tried neither could Chewie all they ate were microwave dinners till' Leia popped into the picture but you had an idea of who could have taken her place and a flash of blonde hair confirmed it. Matty. Creeping up behind him as he took off his oven mitts you decided going for the sides was a good move just in case he had anything in his hands "MATTY!" You screamed as you groped his sides right above his hips "AH!" A low yelp coming out that i guess you could call a scream "Gotcha!" You triumphantly yelled as you wrapped your limbs around his waist. He was tall but definitely shorter then the two towers named Kylo and Ben,twisting around he patted your head "Hello there little munchkin." Little,is that your new name now? Shyly looking up at him as he looked down you noticed his glasses were sliding down Matt had always been quite the cutie you couldn't help but reach up on tippy toes and push them back in place. A light pink hue taking over his cheeks "Hi Matty." His eyes raked up from your feet to the top of your head,its hard to remember you were only seven all those years ago. Seeing you catch him doing so he looked anywhere but at you "Um how ya been Y/n?" Awe so your new name wasn't little! "Good! Even better now that your here Matty." You loved flustering the guy,i mean you just couldn't help it. "Are you trying to make him faint little?" Ben chimed in from the den. Now both you and Matt were rolling your eyes "Why don't you sit down where Kylo is and i'll finish up putting the casserole in the oven huh?" You didn't wanna leave his side to be honest. Cooking with Matt and Leia had been one of your favorite activities to do while over here but he had a point,with a huff you were on your way into the dining room "You just earned yourself a home made cookie little." He seemed to always have a cookie somewhere in the house,sometimes if you were lucky you would reach into his pockets and find a wrapped one. I wonder if he still did that. "Ben would you do me a favor and start to set up the table? Kylo grab the drinks,Y/n help me take out take these casseroles out." Finally something to do! "I'll grab the top one,you grab the one below it please." Of course he would give you the bottom one so he wouldn't have to bend over and crouch down "Affirmative Captain." You saluted to him as you grabbed the extra pair of oven mitts,too big for you as usual. It felt like you were seven again to be honest,Ben trying to set the silver wear as Kylo gets in the way here and there to put down the cups of water and you an Matt bringing out the main dish. Kylo even had your favorite cup out "How the hell is that thing still in one piece?!" You were curious but honestly thankful that it still existed "Well when me and the boys moved out of here i took it with me." Wow i wonder if he slept with it too "Its creepy i know but i was young and i was gonna miss you squirt." He chuckled as he ruffled your hair "So basically you call me squirt,Ben calls me little,and Matty calls me munchkin?" They all nodded yes in unison keeping their eyes on you "Will i ever shake those nicknames?" This time they all nodded no "Im going to die one day and if any of you ever even ask to have those on my damn tomb stone I'll ghost trip you all in the shadow realm so help me god." You meant business but to them you probably looked like a frustrated elf. You didn't care thought because at the end of the day you were at the Solo's eating chicken casserole and drinking milk out of your pink princess cup. It was as if this all was a dream but here you were,laughing with the boys and talking about all the times we jump scared lil' Matty together in this very house. Could it get any better? "HEY BOYS I'M HOME IS THAT DINNER I SMELL?" Han Solo. You stand corrected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> favorite song atm: Black Sabbath-war pigs


	3. Nothing was the same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst. Angst. And more ANGST. I'm sorry im advance,this chapter is pretty deep and it only gets more emo from here on folks. I really tapped into some old emotions and experiences with this one,my birthday which i thought would consume my time was quite the opposite,it was lets just say different ig me and the reader have a lot in common

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to try to add on as much as i can but with work that needs to be done its gonna be hadd to have alone time. I couldnt help but type this i even did it at Olive Garden as we ate,i couldnt let the juicy emotions dim away BTW i got a fucking Mellenium falcon cake wich had one cake on top of another!!

"Higher!" You giggled and screamed as you played with his dulling brown hair,"Higher uncle Han!" How could he deny you? With your y/h/c in two pigtails on the side of your head and a cheshire grin plastered on your face. "Watch out y/n! Tie fighters are appearing on the side of us! Were sandwiched!!!" Grabbing tightly onto his collar as he took a sharp left turn with you on his shoulders,screaming sounds of joy all the way. You had remembered the boys sometimes being jealous of the relationship you had with their father,Ben especially liked to pull your pig tails just for Han to run to your side when hearing your pain laced scream. If anything it made his bond with you stronger. But,that was then. And this was now.  
.  
.  
.  
"Matt,did you make my favorite casserole?" First you heard the door breathlessly heaved open,then the pounding foot steps,"Why aren't any of you answer-" and with that he was standing in front of you. You didn't know what you were expecting to be honest,but he looked more worn and torn then you would have preferred. You could feel tears pricking the sides of your eyes,not bothering to flick them away they bellowed down your now red tinted cheeks. All the boys stared as you and Han had this moment(moment? What else were you going to call it) something inside of you was pouring over. You were suffocating "Han." You croaked out before the first sob raked through,next thing you know he's crossing the room to you and crouching down to pick you up in his arms. It seemed romantic almost,two star crossed lovers finally facing each other again but this was no Notebook,this was reality and here you were a 20 year old girl crying out for a man who was definitely not your father. If it wasn't all about genes then you would definitely call Han your father and most would agree. It didn't matter that all that time had gone,you were here now,and so was he. "Shhhh its okay sweetie,I'm here." That just made you cry more. Oh great a tsunami was pouring down your face and we hadn't even gotten to desert yet. So much for looking cute tonight for the boys.  
.  
.  
.  
Once you had calmed down Matt had gotten you that cookie he promised. Kylo had re-filled your princess cup with milk more times then you could count and Ben? Well he at least he tried to relax you by soothing down your hair. You Weren't really sure why you had reacted in such a way,but deep down you knew. Something had been ripped open again,like a bandaid off a wound. And boy did it fucking sting,all you could keep saying was Han,you had been young when they had gone. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt any less,a lot was ripped away from you other then the company of the triplets,when Leia divorced Han she hadn't just taken the boys but the only closest thing you had to a father. You cried and cried and begged for your father to just listen to what you were saying,at some point you gave up. As you grew up though you still had that longing,memories of the neighbors were there but fading. Soon,you were against anything he did or said,of course you got more attention from him the worse you acted up. Which took a lot but you still got there. They didn't know that though,they didn't know. "What are you thinking about there squirt?" Kylo asked as he sat in front of you across the table now,Han sat in front of you your hand in his,you didn't know what to say. Where would you even start? "I-um..." How were you going to start off "When you guys left..." That sounded right,"Not only were my best friends taken away from me but the only father i ever had." They didn't know your father that well,he worked and you didn't talk about him,how could you when you had Han? They couldn't have known what your home life was for you. Han didn't seem surprised but you could tell Ben felt guilty for ever being jealous,his expression told you he was muling it over,the look on Kylo's face could only be described as anger,he could only mend so much. Matt probably didn't know how to react,Han hadn't been much of a father to him either,to any of them. Luckily thats what they were doing here now,they had started patching it up before you came back into the picture, "Look..." Turning your head to face Han straight on,"We don't know what you've been through,we wont try to pry it out of you,I'm sorry i never answered the days when you knocked,i had just lost my own children by my own doing thinking my sons were better off without me,if it weren't for them barging in here at one point i probably would have never seen them with my own two eyes again,i thought that you would be too or more like i thought i didn't deserve you." It was understandable and you knew that he had barely been home in those years. Yeah his delivery business already entailed that but it had grew to be more so,as if he was trying to run away from something or shall i say...someone. You wondered if he had ever been there the days you could have sworn you had screamed your lungs out,the days the cops had stopped by due to noise complaints,what about the days your house had fell so eerily silent? "Did you-" taking a second to catch your voice "Did you ever hear me...?" You tried to steady your voice,your breathing anything but nada. You could tell from your peripheral vision that Kylo was squirming in his chair while Matt and Ben gave each other a confused look,Han on the other hand,his jaw had tightened and he looked away from you. You already knew the answer as his eyes became glossy. This was enough for one night,rising from your spot in the chair you began to turn towards the exit of the dining room to go through the living room and leave. "Y/n!...wait" Han said as he gripped onto your wrist. It didn't hurt but it didn't mean it was comfortable. Taking a breath you slowly turned around to face him and only him,anger rolling off you "No,you don't get to do that in front of your children,you did all of that to yourself YOU dug that hole,you could have appeared at Leia's door at anytime to fix things." You knew you were gonna regret saying this in the morning "YOU knew what he was doing to me,i had no choice,i couldn't change things for the better even if i tried,i had to sit and rot in that house while i bided my time." Feeling anger course through your veins "YOU knew! And you never once backed me up when the cops called me a delinquent! I came to your door begging you to let me in! Nothing!" All those years you thought that if he just heard,the door would have been busted down and you would have finally seen your knight in shining armor save you. "Do you know how many times i stayed in the psych ward? with no clear windows,no fucking sunshine,constant supervision? I can still hear the screams of the people around me! I thought if you just knew,all of it would have been over!" You were done. This was the wound you knew had been opened again. It took you what felt like only a second to run out the front door,you couldn't go home,no. You wouldn't,trying to catch your breath as you stared down the dimly lit street you heard something well more like a wave of voices then nothing. Until, "Y/N!" Whipping around you were met with dark angry eyes peering at you,you knew that look,Kylo wasn't angry at you but other things he could have never had any control of,one sob and thats all he needed to come barreling down the steps to your side,wrapping his body around you in the process as you hunched forward. It really did feel like you were seven again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone ever needs to talk or just have a chat about their day i AM here. Please know that no one is ever alone. Also a hurricane is headed my way and is a category 4 idk if i'll have power at my house or not i will try to publish chapter 4 before it hits Thursday


	4. Something there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woo hoo your 21st bday party!!!!! Lets drink all the alcohol since its legal now!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys,  
> hurricane Mathew happened and i didnt know if i was leaving Florida or not?? I didnt feel safe at home but i still ended up getting stuck here,i had asthma attacks since the power was wiped out(just got it back yesterday still no wifi tho) and hella anxiety how fun!!! Anyways my neighborhood got really beat up we got lucky but still everyone stay safe. Mother nature is unpredictable as fuck

You don't know how long Kylo kept you there, rocking in his arms. It felt like it could have been hours, in fact years but of course in real time it had been at least 20 minutes. You couldn't imagine what time it was by this point, if only time didn't exist. "I'm so sorry Ky i didn't-" thats as far as you got before you burst into tears again, to say you were embarrassed was an understatement, you couldn't imagine the shift of attitudes in that house. The tension, you had never meant for it to get that raw. Not in front of the boys and especially not in front of...him,"I think you needed it." He said as a matter a fact, as he rubbed circles on your back, looking up to him you knitted your eyebrows "I mean, better late then never, it was waiting to come out one way or another." You knew in some sense that you had planned to confront Han, not this soon and not out of anger, but out of love and acceptance. How the two got mixed up suddenly and swiftly you may never know but he was right. It was all free now, maybe you could actually begin to finally healthily close that wound. Helping you stand up and balance your weight, kylo smoothed out your hair as you looked over his shoulder to the house, amazing how much feelings and memories one structure could hold,"Tell me what your thinking about?" He almost whispered. Taking a second to finally let the last tears drop you brought your gaze back to him "What happens from here..?" You knew he didn't have the answer, no one would and no one did, but it would be nice to hear him try to answer it,"Well i'll walk you back to your house..." a low growl gurgled up your throat, "And you try to sleep." Again he was right, damnit "Then you go from there." You hated asking him this question but you don't think he'd want to be home just as much as you didn't. It wouldn't hurt anyone,"Would you mind if you stayed with me tonight?" You didn't know how to feel about him being in the same room with you because you didn't care, all you knew is you did NOT want to be alone and Kylo had certainly taken back his rightful spot on your side now all you needed to do was glue him back. He smiled sweetly to you,"Of course y/n."   
.  
.  
.   
"KY!" You screamed and shouted repeatedly as you gripped at your hello kitty sheets, the thunder roared its ravenous rage outside your window,"IM COMING DO NOT FEAR YOUR KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR IS HERE!" There he stood in the door way standing proud with the flashlight beaming forward and erasing all the darkness away, smiling wildly you gasped "HURRY KY THE MONSTERS WILL GET YOU!" Scurrying from his spot in the door way he shined the flashlight in ever corner of the room as he whipped your sheets up and scooted in next to you,"Phew that was close." He panted. Still holding the only source of light in hand you gripped onto his arm and took occupation of his right side,"I love you Kylo." Sweetly you looked up at him staring down at you and planted a kiss on his reddening cheeks "I love you too y/n, always."   
.  
.  
.  
Shooting up in the spot in your bed you frantically searched the room with your eyes, there he was on your right side, sleeping soundly. Whiling the sweat out of the way you fumbled with your shirt as you tried to slow your breathing, you were on fire. What would he care he was sleeping. Ripping your shirt off you threw it into the open closet, feeling your necklace flop soppily back onto your chest palming it in between your two fingers you felt the memory creep its way up "What's this for mom?" You must of only been 15,"For being strong and never giving up." It was a little worn and torn now but the gold chain held the intricate pendant in place. She said it had belonged to distant ancestors passed down to each generation, if you were to receive it meant you were special. Finally letting it hang back in place you got up to look for a clean shirt to wear, as you stood contemplating what to grab from your closet you huffed,"Why is it so hard to pick a god damn shirt." Seeing a flash of gray that identified as your gray V-neck you settled on grabbing it. That is until you heard a yawn, ripping the shirt off the hanger you quickly pulled the shirt on "Good morning." You said turning around to face him fiddling, with the top of your pajama shorts "How'd you sleep well i hope, i sometimes kick, did i talk at all? I hope i didn't wake you when i got u-" Kylo laughed a deep bellowing laugh making you stop dead in your tracks, dropping your hands from your pants you stared down at the floor. As much as you wanted to stare at his smiling face, you just couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed at the fact that you couldn't have just let him go home last night,"Hey" he said as he crawled out of your bed "YOU are not aloud to be sad anymore, todays your birthday party!" Oh yeah that thing. You had heard stories of Kylo's anger after you had grew up, your mother had said Leia had a hard time with him during his late teenage years. Took him a while i guess to "control" his emotions, that didn't at all sound like the man in front of you right now. But you certainly weren't the same person last year or the year before that so,"Why are you so kind to me?" You honestly wanted to know, you only knew the triplets because of him, he had picked up your toy when it had dropped out of your car seat. The rest is history,"You don't get it do you?" Coming closer to you he brought your chin up to face him "You don't even know what you mean to me, how incredible you are, what happened last night? Just shows me how strong you are." Looks like you weren't out of tears just yet "You've been through so much shit, and look at you, standing in front of me as a bright young women who is also beautiful might i add on her 21st birthday." You could get lost in his eyes "I've always admired you, I loved to watch you grow y/n, I could never take my eyes off of you not only because I raised you but because watching you seemed to make the world melt away." Some part of you knew these, he had glued himself to your side whether you liked it or not some days "You definitely weren't the only one effected when my mom and dad divorced." This was common knowledge by now "I grew mad at everyone the older I got,when dad had asked for no visitation rights,no nothing not even a fight for us I felt responsible especially with being the oldest." Yeah but what a minute? "It didn't stop me from checking up on you though,it kept me sane to see you adapt for the better." You had never seen him and he understood this by the confused look on your face "I made sure you never saw me,but I saw you." Most would be creeped out by this, shit you should be too but you weren't that was so Kylo of him,you would have done the same thing. Rather then answer him you just walked into him and wrapped around him like a snake. Squeezing him gently,"I love you Kylo Organa Solo." Something stirred in you,you really meant it. But in what way?   
.  
.  
.   
You had exactly one hour till' your house turned into a frat party, your mom was still arranging all the decorations to the last tee and your dad? Whining about how this better be worth it for how much it costed. All you had to do was ignore him all night,he would probably do the same anyways and go talk about Donald Trump for president to some pour soul. You had brought dresses home with you but as you laid them out I'm front of you you none of them seemed to be right, had you grabbed the wrong ones or were you paranoid you weren't gonna find the right dress? whatever it was would have to wait till' later. Your mom had just trampled into the house with bags of liquor in hand, bless her soul, you would have to make an effort to show distain on your face at the first sip of sed liquor and hope she wouldn't be able to tell if it was your first time or not. Plus, retaining from drinking every last drop of whatever you could get your paws on. It was free but you had to keep a lid on it this time. This was NOT college,"Awe ma' you shouldn't have! This is so much." Grabbing a bag or two and bringing it to the nearest table,"I couldn't help myself to be honest." Chuckling a little bit she handed you another bag,"This is the first real exciting thing to happen at the house in a while and I got a little carried away." More like a lot uhm "You act like your getting it all silly,no! Their will be guests remember?" Oh yeah,social interaction,you had almost forgotten. "Speaking of that i invited all the Solo boys over for you." You hadn't seen Matt and Ben since your outburst last night and Kylo? He had left this morning after your heart to heart "Gee mom thanks." Rolling your eyes probably out of your fucking skull by this point. You turned and headed for your room to make the dreaded decision.  
.  
.  
.  
This was it. Your 21st birthday party. Taking one last look in the mirror,you had decided upon this light blue silk dress. Not too long, not too short sure you might look as if prepared for a ballet maybe even a bit debutante but you sure as hell loved the way it hugged your figure and went perfectly with your white velvet choker and silver accessories. Walking out of your bedroom you were immediately were met with the sound of voices, fuck, fuck, fuck. You were really going to have to do this. Slowly you focused on the sound of your heels as you walked down the tile hallway, the voices had died down and sooner or later you were standing in front of a huge crowd. Aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors you name it and they were here. Silent on lookers and partygoers all howled and clapped as you stood before them, hearing a whistle here and there. Oh boy where was the liquor.  
.  
.  
.  
First, you had been introduced to cousins your age,then the parents, and of course the uncles and aunts. Neighbors ran up to you the second you had a minute to catch your breath JUST to tell you how grown up you looked and how beautiful you had turned out, some even mentioned how worried they were they would see you on the news in some alleyway over some drug overdose. Others commented on how happy they were to see you smiling again, either way you just took more sips of your drink and nodded a thank you. That was until she walked up to you, sure you had been introduced to the infamous red head named Hux and his warrior of a friend Phasma but not this girl. She looked vaguely familiar, with her long almost Repunzel like brown hair Flowing under light braids,you knew that smile. Eliza. "Y/N!" Without hesitation she opened her arms up to you,and you slid into them with ease. "Eliza." You said almost verifying to yourself that this was real,pulling away from you she kept her grip on your shoulders looking you up and down "Let me get a look at you girl." Sheepishly grinning you looked down to the floor as you felt a tinge of heat on your cheeks. "As beautiful as i imagined,thank god you never lost your chipmunk cheeks,still as rosy as ever." Reaching out she pinched your cheeks slightly. God you hadn't even realized how much you had missed her till' she stood before you now "How's uncle Chewie?" Wrapping an arm around her waist as you began to lead her with you to get more booze "Still kicking,i swear my dad will never give up his truck or his license until god himself rips them from his hands." Bursting into laughter you both grabbed red solo cups to fill up,you knew she was right,he was Solo's right hand man,"So tell me..." Looking up to her as you took a sip of your full drink "Any boys i need to know about?" Wiggling her eyebrows your way as you nearly gagged on your drink on its way down "Liz!" Rolling her eyes she put her arms up defensively "WHAT! I just want to know jeez!" To be honest there was nothing to know,well,until now. "Just come with me." Not even waiting for her response you grabbed her hand and lead her through the maze that was your house to the back yard. Didn't need any relative hearing you talk about some boy. Once you had closed the screen door behind you,you both stood facing each other "OK." Taking a breath you noticed her excitement in the anticipation,"C'mon spill the beans!" You got this. Don't be too obvious,"So theres this boy that i haven't seen in a while...and now that i well,see him,i don't know what i feel." Taking a second to look around she peered in closer to your face,"I'm guessing this is about Kylo?" how the-"You two were like brother and sister,and now that you are both semi grown up there is a possibility of,well you know." Was it that obvious? Looking down you suddenly felt anxious,embarrassed even. He was undoubtedly attractive,smart,kind even. The package deal,and here you were,a girl he helped raise with some school girl crush on him. "How'd you know?" You said as you covered your face,rolling her eyes again she stated "He's been staring at you all night y/n." What? He was already here? oh god he had seen you binge drinking "Also,you two were literally glued to one another back in the day so it was easy to guess." Walking toward the play sets swing you quietly asked,"What do i do?" Not only mentally to your self but to Eliza. "Well lets see,you could man up and tell him your feelings and see if he feels the same which by the way i'm pretty sure he does,and then go from there or tell him and him deny you and you die alone." Shooting her a glare "Who knows." She was semi-right,if you didn't do something you'd live in regret but there was that chance he had no desire for you. You hadn't dealt with feelings such as these in so long,let alone for your childhood friend. Taking your seat in your swing,"Ughhhhhh!" Groaning loudly to the sky you felt Eliza begin to push you forward "No whining aloud birthday girl." Another groan "I swear if one more person calls me that i'll throw myself out my window." You heard her chuckle behind you. The stars were bright as you squealed in delight asking to go higher and higher,maybe you'd touch the moon. You knew you'd have to go back in there. "C'mon you gotta get back in there before they come looking." Show time.  
.  
.  
.  
In all,only two bottles left stood full and cups and confetti littered the floor. You, Eliza, Hux, Phasma and the boys sat in the living room assessing the damage,"It could have been worse really." Ben stated, you all nodded in agreement. "Anyone want a late night piece of cake?" You asked as you stood up to walk to the kitchen. Everyone cooed in response, cake it is,"Kylo why don't you go help y/n with the plates and silver wear?" You were totally going to get her back for that. You could hear Hux and Ben fighting about strategies in being successful as Matt defended him by his side, Phasma and Eliza giggled on as they were quite buzzed,"So...did you have a fun birthday party?" Looking up to Kylo from across the cake you nodded,"I enjoyed it as much as i could, i'm very grateful for all the alcohol and cake i got,along with seeing missed family." Cutting the first piece you handed it over to Kylo to set it on the first plate,"If it counts for anything i think you looked very...um." God help me,"Prestige." No help here, "Why thank you Kylo." At least he said something. Handing him the last piece, you smiled at him warmly that was until his gaze locked onto your arm. Oh yeah...you had almost forgotten, they were invisible to you really but under bright lighting you could clearly see lines up and down your arm. Faded but definitely there, they hadn't bothered you in years really,didn't effect what you wore or how you held yourself. He hadn't known of course, taking your hand off the plate you went to turn around and walk out of the kitchen,right out the front door. Until he grabbed your upper arm,"We need to talk you." I guess you could do that,"When?" Looking from your arm to his face,which he still hadn't taken his gaze off of. "After everyone leaves, we'll meet you outside in between our houses." Eliza would love to hear this.  
.  
.  
.  
After some persuasion you got Eliza to finally leave with the promise of telling her all the details later. Hux and Phasma were the first to leave,something about work tomorrow? You would have never dared walk into work with a hangover. Walking out your house you pulled your zip up jacket over your shoulders,you could see the boys standing there murmuring with one another. Lets do this. "Y/n..." Kylo said as he turned to face you,waving slightly,"Hello boys." Breath just breath "What happened the other night..." Ben started,"Were sorry." For what? "There is nothing to be sorry about Ben, you both can't help the past or change what someone did, thank you for at least saying something about it." Opening up your arms as you motioned them to come to you. "I love you boys." You whispered as they both hugged onto tightly. Matty sniffled as he pulled away from you,stroking his cheek you cooed "Don't worry sweety pie,thank you for coming tonight." 'I love you' he mouthed as he backed away,"I love you too little." Pushing him on the shoulder you chuckled,"Go to sleep Ben." And then it was just you and Kylo. As the boys walked into the house you turned to him,you couldn't pinpoint what he was feeling,his face was showing more then one emotion. Anger, frustration, guilt.  
When were they going to realize they couldn't change the past. Opening your arms lazily for him,you watched as his shoulders defused and slumped as he took long strides over to you. Still in your birthday outfit since you had had no chance to change you felt your dress slightly shift up as he held you tightly in his arms and lifted you up off the ground as you both swayed. Instinctually you wrapped your arms around him as you hooked your legs around his lower torso feeling your dress ride up around your thighs as he now spun you both around,putting your head in the crook of his neck "Can we stay like this forever please?" You asked as you looked up to him. Feeling his chest rise and fall as he chuckled, lets just say he was definitely built. "You would like that wouldn't you? Me carrying you around everywhere you go." Looking down at you as he held you bridal style "You would never have to walk again." Putting your head back on his shoulder,"Sounds like a plan to me." Tracing lines across his chest you could feel his chest unevenly start to rise and fall, slowly you descended up his chest as his eyes followed your index finger. Tapping his collar bones as you danced across them to the vein on his neck, wrapping your small hand around the back of his neck as you used your thumb to trace his jawline. "Kylo?" Taking your thumb away from his jawline you moved up to his cheek bone,his eyes were wide as they looked into yours. This was the moment. "Huh?" He murmured. Without answering you brought your lips to his, smashing his face with yours. It was all so hazy, the way he wrapped his arms around you to where you wouldn't be able to move out of his hold as you wrapped your arms around his neck bring your bodies closer then close. Instantly wrapping your legs around his bottom torso on instinct as your tongues worked together,only pulling away for a second to catch your breath as you both heaved with your foreheads touching. "I lied earlier you looked ravishing." Giggling a little bit as he continued "I wanted to take you away right then and there you looked so gorgeous." You hadn't even noticed he was there to be honest,too busy with your now legal alcohol. Twisting his hair on your finger you,"Take me away. Away from my father,away from this house,from this town." You could tell he was taken a back by this but understood. He didn't have to answer,"Thank you for everything kylo..." Whispering as you unwrapped your legs from his hips and untangled your arms from his neck. "Y/n..." He whispered as he grabbed onto your hand bringing you back to him,"One last kiss." You could feel his breath on your face as he leaned in,trapping your bottom lip with his. Guess you really were the birthday girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omw to Halloween Horror Nights as we speak,its beautiful out,@ Mathew you weak as fuck square up   
> Fav song atm: Freak by Lana Del Rey album: Honeymoon

**Author's Note:**

> the triplets are an amazing idea from the Thirst order Confessions a million kudos to everyone and anyone who has paid tribute to the idea of Kylo,Matt,and Ben


End file.
